Discussion:Tax Jokes 2009

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Discussion Forum Index --> General Chat --> Tax Jokes 2009

Wkstaxprep (talk|edits) said:

5 March 2009
Oldies but goodies.

Why did the tax accountant cross the road ? - Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

what's the most popular form of birth control tax accountatnts use? - their personality

why is a tax audit just like a tornao? - because there is a lot of yelling and screaming going on and eventually you wind up losing your home.

what's the difference between a mathematician, a scientist, and a tax accountant? if you ask a mathematician "what's 2 + 3 ? " he will say "it's 100% definitely 5!" if you ask a scientist "what is 2 + 3?" he will reply "it's probably 5 but not 100%certainty" if you ask a tax accountant "what's 2 + 3?" he will respond "what do you want it to be?"

Genskitty (talk|edits) said:

March 5, 2009
ROTFLM*O you guys just crack me up

TheTinCook (talk|edits) said:

6 March 2009

Actionbsns (talk|edits) said:

25 March 2009
I'm sleepy and trying to stay awake, I'm procrastinating big time before I start my next return. Can't somebody add something funny to this thread? Crow - JR- Keving - Natalie - somebody make us laugh.

Kevinh5 (talk|edits) said:

25 March 2009
You want a frog joke?

Actionbsns (talk|edits) said:

25 March 2009
I'll take anything!!! BTW, I just ran my first credit card charge!! Now we'll see if it actually shows up in my bank account or runs wild in the electical wilderness. Got over most of my procrastination and I'm about half way done with this return. Then home with a client's work that requires some research.

Tell us about the frogs, Kevin.

Actionbsns (talk|edits) said:

25 March 2009
Kevin, we're waiting for the frog joke!!

Zonker (talk|edits) said:

25 March 2009
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
   He wanted to robbit. 

Why are frogs such liars?

   Because they are amFIBians. 


Kevinh5 (talk|edits) said:

25 March 2009
all the jokes were wasted here: Discussion:Farm or not a farm?

Actionbsns (talk|edits) said:

25 March 2009
Great thread Kevin and just as I was beginning to wish for another Void Check, Girl Scout Cookies, Killing Kittens and Speeding Elephant threads. It's already there.

Kevinh5 (talk|edits) said:

25 March 2009
the funny thing is that girl scout voided check thread was about the 24th of March also, if I recall.

Kevinh5 (talk|edits) said:

25 March 2009
nope, it was the 21st and continued for awhile after that.

must be my silly time of the year

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

26 March 2009
Well, the rabbi and the IRS agent joke made it back to my wife today from my daughter-in-law who works for a CPA firm in West Orange. Start spreading the news.

Actionbsns (talk|edits) said:

31 March 2009
This isn't really a joke, just a funny happenstance as a result of tax season and all the credits hanging out there.

I'm reading one of my favorite books which is a historical novel about the Napoleonic War era. Seems like all night last night, in my sleep, I was preparing tax returns that were able to take advantage of credits for participating in Napoleon's latest war effort. They amounted to quite a bit as I recall.

TaxFlake (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2009
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice "I'd like to try the bet" After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?" The man replied "I work for the IRS."

Ddaallas (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2009
Today, Google introduces CADIE: http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/cadie/index.html

Wwtaxes (talk|edits) said:

4 April 2009
Ok, this is from a class I took on Discrete Structures many years ago. It was really about a doctor, an engineer, and a programmer, but after a few years of doing taxes, I figured it applies to a Tax Preparer too.

A doctor, an engineer, and an IRS agent were having a drink, and the doctor told the others, "Surgery is the oldest profession". When the others asked how he came to that conclusion, he said "Because in the bible, in Genesis, it says that God created Eve from the rib of Adam, and that's surgery'". A few minutes later, the engineer piped up and said, "Engineering is the oldest profession". Again, the others asked why, and he replied, "Because before that happened in Genesis, God created order out of chaos, and that's an engineering feat." A few minutes passed, and the Tax Preparer said, "Writing tax code is the world's oldest profession". Now the others were really confused and asked what his reasoning was. The Tax Preparer replied, "Who created chaos?"

RoyDaleOne (talk|edits) said:

14 April 2009

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