Discussion:Far out and wacky things we hear from clients - funniest tax stories 2008

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Discussion Forum Index --> General Chat --> Far out and wacky things we hear from clients - funniest tax stories 2008


MDTaxgal (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
Ok for a little levity I'm starting this thread.

Had a new client come in today and tell me they'll have income for selling her unfertiled eggs...Apparently there's quite a bit of money in this, she got $6,000. This is Misc Income I asumme since she's decided not to do this as a trade or business.

Your turn.. :)

Kevinh5 (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
For last year's stories, visit: Discussion:Funniest Tax Story of the Day

Kevinh5 (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
my nomination for last year's funniest thread: Discussion:"Massage Therapist" Commuting Mileage?...Oh My!!! But then, I'm a guy. Maybe others have their funniest they can nominate?

WARNING: not for the delicate of heart or those that can't see humor in a tax lesson.

TaxNerd (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
MDTaxgal, don't you think she should get capital gains treatment. She's had those eggs over a year. Just kidding, but I've heard of stranger things on a tax return.

MDTaxgal (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
TaxN I'm guessing you are a guy... most of us gals replace our eggs every 28 days so 6 to one half dozen to the other its ordinary income no matter how you slice it.

TaxNerd (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
And on the other hand, if I sold my sperm, it would be definitely be ordinary income, since it's being produced anew every day, unlike those eggs, which you are born with (at least I think; better ask my kid who is currently taking Anatomy).

Kevinh5 (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
I'm sure that there is a ยง199 joke in here somewhere, but I'm not going to make it.

Southparkcpa (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
I vote for no gain or loss, we can deduct all of her vitamins and health food used to produce the eggs.

Maybe she should incorporate????

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
Oh well, the yolk is on us.

EZTAX (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
D&T Ouch!

Taocpa (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
This is an egg-citing discussion!

Tom

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
egg-actly.

Or as Michael says in the film of the same name, 'What is the opposite of White?' "Yolk."

Taocpa (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
You guys crack me up!

Tom

Lmcdon9822 (talk|edits) said:

26 January 2008
Did not happen in 2008, but funny otherwise...happened will working per diem for another tax firm...

Well paid executive client (over $175,000 income) say his wife started her own business and wanted to know what type of deductions she can write off. Her total income was about 3,000 and she had about 7,000 in deductions. So I ask what type of deductions and what service her business provides...LONG PAUSE...she is an entertainer. OK. As I look through the reciepts I notice flights from NY to VA. Before I ask what they were for, the 1099 has the company name...SCORES...

Now I think I seen it all...dude makes that much money and allows his wife to work at SCORES...as an entertainer...

After that tax season I learned that where HE met her...

Jmolliconi (talk|edits) said:

27 January 2008
This is my favorite true story, but it's probably 15 years old.

I did easy estate 1041's for an attorney for years. He says, Mr. X's mother died, really simple just the house she lived in, in the estate and I would be doing the return for the estate and one for Mr X. Probably a year later I do the estate return and it shows the house sold for only 2/3's of the date of death value. Big capital loss flowing to Mr. X on the final return. This was when real estate was more stable.

It seems that he was so broken up by the death of his mother that he couldn't face taking care of her house, the possessions or taking care of her beloved cat. So he just went over periodically and left lots of cat food for the cat to eat. He also cut a cat door for the cat to come and go. The house was over run with feral cats within a short time and could barely be sold at any price.

It's a great story if you're teaching estate K-1's and what flows out in the final year. jm

BobLindEA (talk|edits) said:

27 January 2008
This actually is from the late 1990's, but is the funniest I can recall in 20+ years of practice.

Here in AZ, a new client relocated from California engaged my services to prepare a final Fed/CA return for a deceased friend (he was executor), and we ended up doing a first/final 1041/541 for the estate as well. He received a notice from the Franchise Tax Board stating that some income was left off the final 1040. Since the income was an after-death distribution from a pension plan, and reported on 1041, I had the executor come in and sign a POA, and wrote a letter explaining where the income was reported.

When I got back the reply, I stared at it in disbelief for several minutes, before I called the client and asked him to come in. He read it and likewise was stunned.

The FTB said that they received my POA signed by the executor of "John Doe's" estate. However, since the matter involved John Doe's personal tax return, and not his estate's tax return, the POA must be signed by John Doe, HIMSELF.

I wrote a letter and explained that, to my knowledge, dead men generally can't sign a power of attorney. I respectfully requested guidance to the contrary if it was available. Never heard back a thing :)

MNCPA (talk|edits) said:

28 January 2008
Well, I had my fist crier of the year. Newly divorced client hurried in to file so she could get her refunds right away (under withheld, no itemized deductions anymore, etc, etc). Well, she wasn't real excited when she found out that she owed a few grand instead. After a few f bombs and a lot more tears, she was on her way. Great way to start the tax season! I always sem to get two or three of those per year. Along with the fighting divorced/seperated couples. Good times....

FLAEA (talk|edits) said:

28 January 2008
Bit of a sticky situation. A relatively new client stops by my office to drop of his monthly "stuff" (check stubs, bank statements, lots of receipts) which are usually stuffed into a manilla envelope. This time he spends about 5 minutes rummaging through this car before bringing his stuff in. A few hours after he leaves I upon the envelope, start sorting, and find a condom (wrapped). I laugh about it with my husband assuming that he was in a hurry and accidently "picked up" the item from his car and stuffed it in the package. I never said a word to him assuming he would be embarrassed. Couple of months pass, I go to his office to set up his computer, he hands me a manilla envelope which I take back to my office and open to sort a couple of hours later. Well you guessed it! It happens again! What are the chances that a condom accidently ends up in an envelope twice. Either he's got a lot of them sitting around, or he just pulls receipts (and everything else) out of his pockets to empty into the envelope - or what?? Now I'm embarassed (and a little freaked out). Do I approach him about it or wait and see if it happens a third time. (Three strikes you're out!)

Lizzit (talk|edits) said:

28 January 2008
FLAEA - Have you considered whether or not he's making a pass at you?

My funniest thing found in a client's papers - a pair of stained BVDs. Ick! We wondered whether we should incinerate them as a biohazard or return them. We opted for the trash bin.

No funny stories for 2008. Hubby's being a PIA; I'm not laughing too much these days.

Bottom Line (talk|edits) said:

28 January 2008
Worst thing I've found = a dirty diaper. Fortunately (?) so old that it didn't smell anymore.

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

28 January 2008
Loved the stories about the condoms, diapers and BVD's. My biggest hazard isn't clients but me!!! I will open a client's file and find that Citibank Credit Card bill they dunned me for two months ago as being past due, or the pack of peanutbutter crackers from last year, unopened but crushed, that fell off my desk one day.

The other day a client finally faxed the SS# for two 1099s we had to send him; I opened his file and found the list of people to notify if my sister dies. She'd sent it to me since I am the Executor of her will; she revises it every year. I sort of call it her s__t list.

MNCPA (talk|edits) said:

28 January 2008
I had a female client pull a condom out of her purse at the completion of our meeting. She supposedly was grabbing for her car keys and pulled it out instead. It was a bit of an awkward moment for her. I just chuckled.

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

28 January 2008
There was this high-powered manager from Big Blue who came to me for the first time in 1985. The preparer on the 1984 return was a well-known tax professional in our area. I was curious. I asked why he chose our office. He explained that my boss and I had great reputations among IBMers, then added, "when the guy last year offered me a line, I decided I did not need a power tripping coke addict doing my taxes."

In those days of the great blizzard, you could understand why 'Yuppie' clients could not save money. They would constantly have the sniffles while you interviewed them.

Bottom Line (talk|edits) said:

28 January 2008
Now I'm curious. Is the "well known professional" still doing taxes?

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

28 January 2008
I heard that a few years later, he went into one of those 'Betty Ford' places; you've whetted my interest, I will try to google him.

Sandysea (talk|edits) said:

28 January 2008
Sounds very much like my client...I asked for "green" when he picked up his paperwork. The guy brings me a bag of ummm lets say...green weeds. I look at him and say..." what is this for"? I don't smoke green weeds. He said "I brought you greens".....funny how that term got misconstrued...I politely told him $$$$, not green anything else. He heard me say "greens".....how many accountants get paid in weeds I ask? Well, you asked for it, I thought you would write down my bill by the value of the Greens....

Needless to say, he is no longer a client.....hehehehe

Irsfixer (talk|edits) said:

30 January 2008
I got this question today: "Are those education credits good for more education or is it just money?"

San Diego (talk|edits) said:

30 January 2008
Client needed 5 years of "simple" returns done. I qouted at $300 per return. At the end (and after a nice refund) claimed he thought I said $300 for all five years...

Szptax (talk|edits) said:

30 January 2008
This has got to be in the running for stupidest client award...Many years ago I prepared returns for "ex"-spouses who both told me they were single (in writing). I called him oneday & she answered - turns out they re-married the previous year & both failed to mention it! She explained that she thought they could just file singly so thats why thy told me they were single OY VEH!!!! Must we now check with the prothonatary's office???

Belle (talk|edits) said:

January 30, 2008
Just had a client who, in answer to the question of whether the charitable contributions were in good condition, stated: Well, the money (as in greenbacks) was kinda worn out....I thinks it's gonna be a loooooong tax season.

Bottom Line (talk|edits) said:

31 January 2008
Got my first "when am I going to receive the tax checks they're sending out?" question.

Client has been pressing to get his taxes done by 1/31. Hasn't given me 5 of 12 months bank statements. (Swore he gave them to me and I gave them back) Found out today he thought corporate returns were due 1/31!! Image:scream.jpg You guessed it. One of the RE tycoons that is now broke.

Taocpa (talk|edits) said:

20 February 2008
Client calls in total panic. He likes to run his numbers in TurboTax ahead of meeting with me and then hands me his stuff. He and his wife are a sweet older couple. I always do it myself however. Anyway, I look at the file and he has stock transactions and no basis to the tune of $90K. I look and tell him, "Well, no wonder you owe almost $40K." I explain why and he looks at me and says, "What's basis?" You gotta love clients.

Tom

Southparkcpa (talk|edits) said:

20 February 2008
Just picked uo a new client and met with them briefly in December, fairly attractive and her husband has the same first name as I do.

I got a somewhat erotic E mail from her on Valentines day telling me all the "nice things" she is going to do to me when she gets home.

The E mail was quickly followed by a retraction of embarassment. Let's see her face when they come in to do their return. Cute way to start a business relationship.

JAD (talk|edits) said:

20 February 2008
Rough. I think I would have to change accountants.

Bottom Line (talk|edits) said:

20 February 2008
How much you want to bet the wife doesn't come to the meeting?

Belle (talk|edits) said:

February 20, 2008
Maybe she'll come alone....

Gstax1 (talk|edits) said:

21 February 2008
Have had a good chuckle reading these. Must comment to MDtaxgal and TaxNerd's comments about the eggs, however. Anatomy lesson: gals are born with all the eggs they are ever going to have, just cycle 'em out one at a time. So maybe they should be capital gains!!

D'Nero (talk|edits) said:

21 February 2008
Is there a step-up in basis at birth?

CPAdavid (talk|edits) said:

22 February 2008
Today I met with a client whose 1040 I first prepared in 2005. He has a W-2 from a job, but has a little Sch C side business. In 2005 his business showed a $600 profit.

In 2006, a $4,000 loss (with only $600 in depr sec 179).

In 2007, he has an $18,000 loss (no non-cash charges against income).

No question this is a business, as opposed to a hobby.

I tried for 20 minutes to show him that he is losing money, but he just doesn't believe it. It's all there on paper. We went over all income and expense items twice. Big loss. He still remains unconvinced that he isn't making any money. I gave up. He'll get a great refund of his W-2 withholdings.

Greg91020 (talk|edits) said:

22 February 2008
I had a client call on April 15 asking if I thought it was a good idea to send a 1040 to the IRS with a SSN on it, it didn't seem safe to her. She wondered if the IRS really needed her SSN!

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

22 February 2008
Greg, that reminds me of the ancient prank. Cold calling someone and telling them "I am John Barton from Bell Telephone; we are writing a new phone book, what is your number?"

Sandysea (talk|edits) said:

22 February 2008
Got one today....email from a new homeowner client (not much more than a kid btw)but her question: I am getting my homestead exemption for 25K, will this also be an exemption for the IRS? hehehehehe

Kevinh5 (talk|edits) said:

22 February 2008
CPADavid - I had a client like that about 10 years ago. He started a deck building company, and after two years of operation, he said he couldn't figure out why he never had any cash. (taxes showed a small loss) Seems when he got a deposit from a new customer, he always had to use it to finish a prior customer's job. I've got more work than I can get done, but never have any money. I asked him to explain to me how he billed:

"I charge $20 an hour plus materials. They pay me a 50% deposit when we start, and the balance when my crew finishes."

and how do you pay your crew?

"I have 5 guys and I pay them each $8 an hour."

just then a light bulb went off in his head:

"Oh my gosh - I'm charging $20 AN HOUR and paying out 5 times $8 an hour."

seems it never occurred to him to charge $20 an hour per worker.

Bottom Line (talk|edits) said:

23 February 2008
No wonder he had so much work; probably was significantly cheaper than the competition!

Sandy - you'll probably get the joy of explaining to your client that since she bought the house late in the year, it's not going to help her on her taxes. "But the realtor said it would!"

Met with a couple today. The wife had gone to a MLM seminar where they were saying that "because you are self-employed, you automatically put down $5,000 for a home based business expense on your schedule C. That means that you don't pay taxes on the first $5,000 of your income." Fortunately the wife was too smart to buy this without asking me. We then got into a long discussion of how few people make any money in MLM's.

Mscash (talk|edits) said:

23 February 2008
Not exactly a funny story, but I've just got my fourth new client in a year who had one spouse file the previous year as head of household taking exemptions for the children, itemized deductions and earned income credit while the other filed as single with standard deduction. I'm wondering how often this occurs.

Bottom Line (talk|edits) said:

23 February 2008
Lots. I've seen it a lot with the tax stores.

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