Discussion:The Fred & Tom Venture

Might have to copy and paste. Not good at adding links.

I was really thinking of doing this. Also, at the local Ski Resort. Was gonna set up there for a Sunday.

A beer to cry-in for those who owe!

I wonder if he pays rent? He = the guy with the tax tavern.

Are my taxes done yet?

check the dictionary.

me just bein silly

You see, Nancy, now what you have to do is individually look at some of Fred's posts. A good start would be "What's the best thing that happened to you today" in the General Chat. I just thought of a short cut. If you put "tequila" in the search box, you'll get a good sampling of Fred's posts and learn more than you ever wanted to know about him.

As far as the "Fred for President" issue goes, I'm not so sure about that anymore. Fred has kind of gotten on a high horse about the whole thing, and I don't know if he's the right man for the job. I think he might qualify for NY governor though, so we'll keep the campaign workers in place for the time being.

The "Freddy Dictionary" is a fictional book containing Fred's definitions of certain terms. My understanding was that it was being worked on by "Freddy World" staff, but I stand corrected. It's important to have a copy of that so you can understand how Fred will interpret your posts. If you'll notice, there are several times I have defined words because otherwise Fred applies his own meaning, and it is often not the one intended. Belle can attest to that. In fact, there are probably many others who can as well.

I hope this helps you understand a little more. Welcome to the club!

Nancy, please DO NOT bring your husband into this...most spouse's (unless tax preparers) wouldn't be able to handle what goes on here.

Natalie, do you think Tim would give 'us' our own forum to put all of the slightly bizarre, hijacked etc threads in? (starting with the "stale dated payroll checks, etc" (i'm ad-libbing but that's close) one? <sidebar - Nancy, if you haven't read that one, make it a priority after the 15th>

Altho - I really thinks it's only fair that the newbies have to sift thru the garbage (aka as legitimate tax research questions) to find out how much fun 'we' are having.

OK, done stalling. I've already decided to pull an allnighter in order to get a gnarly S-corp and the related indivual returns done by 10:00 am tomorrow

And Fred, is that dictionary in print? Or would that fall under the 'evidence we wouldn't want to fall into the wrong hands' catagory.

g'nite

There's another thread that Pierce started called, "What's the best thing that happened to you today?" or something like that with more of Fred's antics, It's legendary as well.

I will let you search for it as that's half the fun of this site is looking for this stuff.

My wife doesn't get it either. She has no clue. I've shown her a couple of threads and she just rolls her eyes.

Tom

I woke up actually at 3:30am and went back to bed.

Yesterday I was up at 4:45 -5:00am. Crapped out at 8:30pm.

I am trying to catch up.

Tom

I might have to find a new assistant. She's just been so inconsistent this year and when she comes here, she's on the phone to her kids, surfing the 'net if she "thinks" there is nothing to do, when she's got tons of work. I constantly have to show her things over and over again.

I just looked at the volume of returns I've gone from since 2004. Back then I had 80-85 clients. Now, I've doubled that amount. But, I am probably going to have to get rid of some to keep my sanity by raising my fees.

But what's worse are the clients who showed up after April 1 demanding they be finished by Tuesday. I will get about 5 more done by then, but the rest are on extension. I am not going to cave to them for their procrastination no matter how easy they think their return is.

Fred, about the bar idea, I will entertain everyone, you can prepare the returns. If I did that, I would never, ever get a return done as I would be talking to everyone.

Tom

As far as this little venture with Fred goes, I was thinking you could actually set up a grill outside and offer your specialties. I hear pizza and beer go real well together.

Until the thoughts are ready. I bid you adieu.

Freddy mugs for the beer.

Freddy t-shirts. Tom can come up with a slogan for that. (Fred, you're not allowed to have any input on that one.) We can use these for dual purposes - to market the venture and drum up support for the campaign.

Freddy tequila bottles, etc.

I'm sure Belle, Tom, Nancy, Action, Pierce (once she gets out of the branding fields) and others will have other great ideas.

Now we need a logo for this. I have a few ideas, but I'll wait to see what others suggest.

Round 'em up, Cowboys and Cowgirls. Let's move 'em out.

Natalie, you forgot Freddy shot glasses for the tequila. And we'll need to hire some of those Hooter's girls to 'fill out' the T-shirts. (I'm not interested in THAT job !).

I'm not very creative, but one of my worker bees is - I get her juiced up with some wine (she's not a tequila buddy) and set her loose on the logo idea.

More to come, once the caffeine kicks in.

Now, I will start working on a slogan.....

Tom

Nice photo. Is that you on the left after some tequila?

Tom

That pic was the setting of a ritualistic hat burning after the Jets kicked some patrios a$$ a few years ago. Was around halloween on a Monday Night Football pool night out so we decorated the stage so the bet could be paid. was probably 10 years ago and I still have the burnt hat carcass in the bottom drawer of one of my filing cabinets.

I can see we might need to hire a fashion consultant or two. Anyone have any clients in that area?

Fred, do you have anything else hiding in closets that perhaps ought not be there? DON'T tell me what they are, just have Tom help you take care of them.

We know Fred as at least one skeleton based on his photos....

Tom

Just a dark picture. And of course I have skeletons. We all do. I just like to hang out with mine.

Of course, in New York, it could have gotten you beat up to have a mullet.

Tom

Many know the saying - if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger.

Here in NY we say

If they don't kill ya, it just makes you more determined to hunt the bastages down, maim and torture them and then bury the bodies where no one will ever find them.

AllThingsFreddy.com

FreddyForPrez.com

They will bounce from place to place handling the things that I need handled.

Does anyone else wish to misbehave?

Just raise your hands and I will send them to handle you too.

Tom

One more day.

Time for tequila

Seventeen hours to tequila....I've set up a 'shrine' of the offerings client's have brought to me (except the GS cookies, ate them, didn't keep the box). The tequila is front & center, ahead of the wine, flowers, jelly beans, and cheesecake. Cheesecake will be gone before 10:00 pm.

I love Tequila time.

Actually, I have not been to a Hooters for ages. Last time I went, I took a friend. He was absolutely insulted I took him. He could not believe any man would ever go there. Funny thing, a few months before that, I was with some lady friends with the Institute for Management Accountants and they wanted to go to Hooters. I reluctantly took them, but they had more fun than I thought they would. One said to one of the waitresses, "Honey, if I had that body, I would wear that outfit everyday and hubby would never leave the house!" The waitress looked at us and said, "Are you really accountants?" I nearly passed out I was laughing so hard.

Anyway, our slogan could be, "If your taxes aren't becoming to you, you should becoming to us!" or "Taxes? We don't need no stinkin' taxes!"

More to come as my brain recovers from an 18 hour day four days running. One more day of getting up at 4:30am.

Tom

Did Natalie just infer that "boys" are dense? She may have just insulted us.

Heck, who cares? Off to do another return!

By the way, this trick of using toothpicks to keep your eyes open doesn't work. It hurts your eyelids and puts holes there.

I am using another trick. A woman in a Hooters outfit standing next to me sweetly telling me, "Come on Tommy boy. Get those returns done now!"

Oh wait, I'm hallucinating.

Tom

And Tom, what are you doing with toothpicks? It hurt just reading your post!

Heck, I was kidding about the toothpicks, but I was hoping the Hooters hallucination was real....

I can't wait for the bar to open tomorrow.....

And, by the way Natalie, what time is it in your neck of the woods?????

Tom

Could you refresh me on the train of thought here? Is Fred still in the race? Very photogenic, by the way.

HHHS <Hooters Hot Hit Squad> must be sent again. tom is due another round of punishment.

The only hooters we have around here are the owls.

For some reason, I am reminded of a great line from the Benny Hill Show. He's getting into bed with an old hag of a woman, just after the last of the children has gone to sleep. He turns to her and snarls, "Goodnight, mother of eleven!" She says, "Goodnight, father of one!" He has this great look of comic surprise.

Somehow Fred, why do I picture you as poor old Benny Hill in this case?

Tom

BTW, when I was in LA, I actually saw some guy dressed up as the Statute of Liberty and waving a "get your taxes done" sign outside a Liberty office. I wonder if he was the guy who owned the place?

I am only joking. I hope you realize that.

The milk carton thing isn't a joke, though. That's what would happen to me if I were ever seen in Hooters, a strip club, etc.

I have a client with an interesting sense of humor. He's always flirting with women but yet his wife is gorgeous. One day, he faxed some of his tax stuff with a very racy autographed photo of an NFL cheerleader stuck in the middle. I never even saw it until my wife brought it to my attention. I was paying for that for a week.

Tom

That really is me Belle, although I am not a football player, just a fan. Have many good football trip stories though. Some I could actually tell you about.

Action, I taught the beginner class this year for the local Liberty Tax office in this area. Brought the new students into the break room to show them the uniform they had to wear while preparing taxes. Now, the uniform my preparers have to wear come straight from victoria herself. <EG>

Hey, how bout a bikini tax maid service, that should bring in the customers.

I'll be up there if you want. Just need to plan better for next year. I just love some good steaks.

Fred, do you think the women will let us get away with the bar with Hooter's style waitresses complete with uniforms and the bikini tax maid service? We could make a killing.

But, do you think it would kill your presidential aspirations?

Tom

I think us girls (me, Natalie, Pierce....)should have male staff/preparers dressed like the Chippendale Boys....

There's the venture, top floor is you and the girls and the chippendale guys, basement is the bikini taxmaid juice bar preparation area and the middle floor will be the TAO BBQ and beer and fireman test center section.

And Belle, we'll talk after our litte <separate> getaways.

And as for the campaign, it would be awesome idea. It's time this country had a true down to earth person there instead of the pony up to special interest try to hide who they are pantywaists trying now. Last few elections it's not who is the best, but let's select the lesser of two evils. Pathetic.

time to get the laundry and pack my bags.

Cya guys and gals, off to campaign in South Carolina.

And I will be posting thoughts for an after tax season vacation getawy for next year. too early this year but next year, taxalmanacers hit the road. the 2012 compaign shall begin.

toodles

Tom, from what I've read about the politicians in this country, the bikini tax maid service will probably be a bonus for Fred's campaign, as long as he's open about it. It seems the ones who get into trouble are the ones who say one thing and do another or deny their actions altogether.

Fred, remember to take along some Freddy t-shirts when you go.

I can't ride any more roller coasters per doctor's orders. That stinks.

And the hits just come on coming.....

Tom